Is Happiness Truly Attainable?
Something that has been coming up in many of my recent conversations is just how uncomfortable, disconnected, or even forced the word happy can leave us feeling.
It’s a word we seem to constantly chase- as if it holds the key to success, fulfilment, and contentment and when we don’t feel it, or can’t quite grasp it, we’re left wondering: What’s wrong with me? Why am I not there yet? How can I be more happy?
But perhaps the problem isn’t with us- maybe it’s with the concept itself.
Happiness has become a kind of social construct, a shiny prize dangled in front of us that’s both overused and underdefined. What makes one person happy might do nothing for someone else… And yet, we’re all supposed to be striving toward the same vague ideal of what’s meant to be happy. Personally, after a lot of reflection, I’ve come to realise that “happiness” in the way it’s commonly spoken about- feels not only unachievable, but somewhat empty.
When I think of happiness, I picture laughter, lightness- a momentary, fleeting feeling. And that’s exactly it: it’s momentary. Yet somehow, we’re expected to feel it consistently, as if sustained happiness is the measure of a life well lived.
We put so many conditions around it:
I’ll be happy when I get the house.
When I have more money.
When I finally land the dream job.
But these goals, while valid, often just move the goalpost further. More often than not, they pile on pressure. Because once we reach one milestone, another appears- and so the chase continues. It’s no wonder happiness can feel like a never-ending task, especially within the relentless pace of modern life.
Maybe it’s more human and far more honest to admit that we’re not meant to be happy all the time. We are cyclical beings. We have ups and downs, ebbs and flows and rather than striving for a constant high, what feels more nourishing and real is to seek moments of joy.
Joy feels gentler. It shows up in small ways: the warmth of the sun on your face, a kind word from a stranger, the quiet stillness of the morning. It doesn’t demand anything of you. It simply arrives- unannounced and unforced.
And then there's peace- another word I’ve been leaning into more. Peace feels like coming home to myself. There’s a stillness there, a groundedness that doesn’t depend on external markers of success. Maybe peace is what we’re really craving, beneath all the striving.
It reminds me of the first Buddhist teaching: Life is suffering- because of our wants and desires. Sitting with that truth can be confronting, but also incredibly liberating. It invites us to examine where our longing comes from and whether it’s pulling us further away from ourselves.
So maybe the real question isn’t “How can I be happy?” but rather, “What does happiness even mean to me?”
Do you feel at ease with the word?
Or does it feel like another unrealistic standard, one that you constantly need to aspire to?
And if you look closely at your own life- your constant cravings to have more, to be more- are they moving you closer to joy and peace… or further away from them?
Abundant Love,
Georgie x
